


Across the Water

by astudyinfic



Series: A December of Ty and Zane [7]
Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Post T&G, Pre-B&C, Zane-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 01:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16903308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic/pseuds/astudyinfic
Summary: The deployment weighs heavy on Zane's mind.  Sometimes the only thing that gets Zane through is the knowledge of what awaits them when Ty finally returns home to him.Day 7:Looking ahead





	Across the Water

**Author's Note:**

> Not as sad as yesterday. Still sad. 
> 
> Don't worry, tomorrow will be better.

He found himself down at the harbor a lot lately.  Half the time, Zane didn’t remember how he got there, only that he’d left home looking for a distraction to the emptiness.  The emptiness in their home, the emptiness in his heart. Ty was home for only two days before the Marines took him away again and Zane had never resented the military more.  Zane couldn’t have sat still, even if ordered. His mind and heart were thousands of miles away and his body itched to go too. Nervous energy making him as bouncy as the man who Zane missed with every fiber of his being.

He and Ty, they’d spent their time apart, they’d figured out who they were alone so they could know who they wanted to be together.  Now they were supposed to _be_ together, moving forward into the future they would spend side by side.  They were supposed to be planning, loving, growing as a couple. But instead of spending this time with one another, instead of meeting that future head-on, the Marine Corps came and stole Ty right out from under him.  Now Zane was left at home, receiving little to no word from the man he loved while Ty was off doing god-knows-what in god-knows-where.

More than anything else in the world, Zane hated the idea of Ty in danger, hated being too far away to help him.  Ty trusted Sidewinder with his life, so Zane did too, but it wasn’t the same as being there.

He told Ty his biggest fear was not being there and here he was, about as far from there as he could get.  If something happened during the deployment...

Zane looked out at the harbor, the boats moving in and out, the waves as endless as the sea itself.  Somewhere, across that harbor and the ocean it connected to, his boyfriend, his lover, the man he wished to spend every day of forever with was possibly fighting for his life while Zane sat here at home, waiting.  He hated it. He hated that the military could swoop in and take Sidewinder back into the fold. That they could take Ty.

He had Kelly, which proved to be a godsend time and again.  Late night calls from one to another, Kelly talking Zane down from his panic over what might be happening to Ty while he was away.  Kelly admitting in a small voice just how much he missed them. Nick factored heavily in many of their conversations. It led Zane to wonder if something might happen between the two of them when Sidewinder returned home.  Until then, Kelly kept him sane when his mind ran in circles, filling his heart with dread and terror. And he provided a sounding board to the Doc, letting him rant away his frustrations at being kept stateside while his brothers went off to fight. Sometimes, Zane wondered if it was the only thing getting them through.

Nothing good would come of this deployment, as far as Zane was concerned. The only good thing he saw from any of this was they were out now.  No one believed they were partners at work and nothing more now. Ty took away any idea of that when he kissed Zane in the middle of the office.  A kiss that would rank as one of the best and one of the worst Zane ever experienced. Their coworkers didn’t how strong the bond between them was, however.  Zane allowed their good-natured teasing about on-the-job stress relief and choosing the path of most resistance without complaint.

Zane didn’t want them to know that he went to bed every night dreaming of the future he wanted with the man he loved.  They probably would have been shocked if they did. But that wasn’t Zane’s problem right now. Everyone else could figure it out when Ty came back and the two of them could finally start their lives together.  

Zane could almost imagine it now.  Most likely, they wouldn't be partners anymore.  The FBI's rules on the subject might have been unofficial but they were followed nonetheless.  The best they could hope for would be that the Bureau would recognize their value to the Criminal Investigation Department in Baltimore and leave them both there, with a new partner from within the division.

The worst would be a relocation for one or both of them.  Zane didn't want to think about that yet. If they were forced to go that route, the would deal with it when it happened.  

But Ty had suggested since the beginning of both their professional and personal relationships that they could always cut and run.  That might be the time to do it.

The world always needed black-market orchids.

No matter what happened in their professional life, their personal life would be open and out from now on.  Zane had already stopped pretending to live in Ty's guest room. When people from work came over - which was rare but not something unheard of -he no longer hid the few photos of them that they had scattered throughout the home.  Their home. They’d both hated hiding their relationship, particularly towards the end. Seeing how happy Julian and Cameron were, loving one another freely and not caring what anyone else thought, both Ty and Zane wanted that for themselves.  And when Ty got back, they could finally have it.

They would marry.  Zane was already planning on asking Ty.  After Becky died, he never thought he would marry again.  The pain of losing her caused him to lose himself as well.  But when Ty came into his life, Zane began to live again. Becky would never want him to be miserable, to throw his life away on drink and drugs.  The guilt of that knowledge held Zane back for so long. But she would have wanted him to be happy, to remarry if he found someone who could give him the love he deserved.   And no one made him happier, no one loved him more than Ty.

And Zane hoped he did the same for Ty in return.

But for now, Zane settled for staring out at the water, wishing it could somehow bring his lover back to him.  At night, when the ache in his chest was strongest, Zane would stare up at the moon and the stars thinking of Ty and hope that the next night, Ty would look up at them and think of him.  

For now, they could do nothing but wait and hope that they were reunited sooner rather than later, more whole than broken.  But the future loomed bright ahead of them. They just needed to get there.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on [tumblr](http://astudyinfic.tumblr.com), [pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/astudyinfic) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/astudyinfic)


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